Have you ever wanted to join a women’s circle or group but were unsure if the group is right for you? So many of us are craving connection and community yet sometimes it can feel like a land mine finding a community that aligns with our own hearts and minds. If you are anything like me then groups can be incredibly triggering. I wanted to write something as an offering to those women who are craving connection but unsure if one of my circles is the right space for them. If my words don’t resonate with you then I encourage you to find a women’s group that you do feel aligned with as our world needs women to come together in unity at this time. Finding a culture that honors your truth and helps you feel safe is an important part of what is needed in our communities. If my words do resonate with you then I would love the opportunity to share space with you.
How do we collectively heal when we don’t feel safe in community with other women? This is a question I have thought of throughout my own human experience. I have struggled with feeling connected to community throughout my life. It is one of the reasons I host women’s circles now. I wish to help create a safe container for women to be authentic with one another. Through my work, I have met many women who know this wound of not feeling like there is a place to belong. This feeling of not belonging lives deep in our bones. Living in a patriarchal, colonialist culture for thousands of years does not exactly foster empowered women to come together in unity and love. I have found that ceremonial circles are one of the many ways to offer salve to this ancestral wound.
This is an incredible time to be alive on planet earth. We are seeing our old systems crumbling around us and are collectively experiencing the anxieties of our hurting world. In so many ways, we are being asked to heal our own hearts as an offering to help heal Mother Earth. The task can feel daunting when we look at ourselves as only individuals and don’t consider the collective connectedness that we all share in the web of life. This interconnectedness can be difficult to see and feel when looking at the polarization and finger pointing of our systems. For me, this chaos can feel completely overwhelming and has the potential to catapult me into despair. Despair in itself is not a bad thing. It can be a motivation to take steps towards making lasting changes. The danger of despair is that it can lead to complacency and numbing. My goal is to find ways to keep our hearts open and honor our pain for the world. This can help prevent detachment and a feeling of that its all too fucked to fix. We, as a collective, get to decide our own futures and help to shape the future.
We need each other to create a more loving world. With so many of us waking up to the false narratives that we have been force fed for so long, there is much unlearning and remembering needed. This time demands we create spaces that help heal our wounds both individually and collectively. Here is what I have created in the culture of my circles as an offering to help co-create a more loving world. The circles vary in size and usually range between 4 to 12 women at each circle.
Each circle begins with us sitting in a circle together. I lead the group in a heart centered meditation to help us ground into the space together with open hearts. After the opening meditation, I always read the agreements of the circle. This statement and the agreements are as follows:
The purpose of this circle is to protect the safety of the individuals and the integrity of the circle. This means practicing self responsibility, confidentiality, honoring of our emotions and loving every person’s experience without judgment.
• We treat each other with kindness and respect.
• We listen with compassion and curiosity.
• We honor each other’s unique ways to heal and don’t presume to advise or fix or try to save each other.
• We hold all stories shared in the circle confidential.
• We trust each of us has guidance we need within us
When we offer healing to ourselves, we also offer that healing to all life that we touch. The hope of this group is to provide a space to share our collective heart break to the world and offer more unity and wholeness in ourselves and to let that wholeness radiate to all those we meet.
After the meditation and agreements, I open up the circle for introductions and sharing. I often provide prompts to help each woman connect to their hearts in the present moment and allow space to name their pain and gratitude. Some women open up with deep emotions and others prefer to keep it light. All are appropriate. One of the main reasons I personally feel like I have struggled in groups is because there can be an absence of authenticity in order to meet the needs of the group. I want women to feel safe and grounded enough to be who they are in a group. There is serious magic that happens when women show up in authenticity and vulnerability with one another, just as they are.
After sharing, we transition into the breathwork practice; which lasts about 40 minutes. I give a quick instruction. The technique that I offer is a simple 3 step pranayama breath practice. This is down lying down with eye pillows. I create a unique playlist for each circle and it often has a theme to help the women in attendance connect to their highest selves. Some women feel an intense relief from this practice and others feel only physical sensations. I find that practicing this breathwork technique assists in somatically moving through memories and traumas stored in our bodies. I have found in my own life and the experiences of my clients that techniques that help us tap into our own subconscious can be a shortcut to our healing process. It is very difficult to explain something that is much more of a personal somatic experience. Often times, I have witnessed women have deep and meaningful experiences just from being in their breath and bodies for 40 minutes. Our society is often so focused on our intellectual thinking minds that we forget about how to be in our bodies. This experience can create an altered state of consciousness. So much of my own healing has involved slowing down and really allowing my body to receive and be nurtured. If you would like to learn more about the breathwork technique I utilize, you can visit my breathwork page on my website at: https://www.transformthenest.com/breathwork
After the breathwork is finished, women wake up at their own pace. I serve tea and offer a time for each person in attendance to share their experiences and wisdom with one another in the circle. Once again, some participants wish to share and others have their own way of processing and do not wish to verbally share their experiences. All ways of processing are honored in the space.
I want these circles to be a safe space for all women who attend, regardless of personal and religious backgrounds. I am not one for pageantry and costumes but wish to create and be apart of spaces that are open to diverse ways of experiencing the world.
I never want financial means to stop a woman from attending a circle. I Feel my pricing is a fair exchange for the work I put into creating these spaces. I also understand that not everyone has access to funds to pay for this type of community. I have many women attend at no cost and also am lucky enough to bill Medicaid for some clients to attend. I also have the option for members who sign up to pay it forward to a woman in need. If you are interested in joining a circle but have a concern about the cost, then I encourage you to email me at jen@tranasformthenest.com to secure a place at the circle with no or little cost to you. I also encourage you to donate a circle to a woman in need if you are feeling a sense of gratitude for the abundance in your life.
I hope that this explanation helps you better understand what to expect at each circle. I am always available if you have any further questions. Wishing you peace, love and connection in this beautiful and messy world.
